There are some moments that you know are going to change everything, forever.
(Actually, I rather think that everything changes everything else forever, but if we knew that, if we felt it in our very bones, we’d never do anything or go anywhere; because sometimes we don’t want change, so who would go grab their morning coffee at the local if they knew it was going to change everything? And yet every choice changes our path, even if just a little, even if it’s in ways we can’t fathom or imagine).
What I’m saying is…sometimes there are moments you know, in your very marrow, that are going to change everything. Forever. In ways you can’t see or imagine or comprehend or predict. As if you had been stood on a railway turntable, turning round and round, seeing all the choices, and then — click — you slotted yourself into place. You chose the new path and in that moment, that infinitesimal, fleeting moment between when your mind knows it has decided and when you act upon the decision, the whole universe expands with the unimaginable consequences of your decision and your heart swells with all the fear and delicious joy and apprehension of knowing that you have no idea how much your life is about to change because you chose one path over the other. And sometimes, in a heartbeat, you know you can never go back. The die are cast, the three sisters have snipped the thread and you have shifted the whole course of your life for better, or for worse.
That moment. That moment.
I just had one of those moments. With a few clicks of the mouse, I accepted an offer to attend a new university to commence a new degree. Everything has changed. I have stopped my turntable and my feet point in one direction. I have no idea what new experiences are coming my way. I have no idea where this new path will take me or whose path I have set myself up to cross. I have no idea what joy and what grief I have positioned myself to meet. All I know is that I have changed all the rest of my life tonight.
Some moments change everything. I’m crossing my fingers for something spectacular.